


Bucky's Mailroom Adventures

by WinterMunchkin05



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky meets new friends, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, LIGHTLY SPRINKLED WITH SALT, M/M, Oblivious Tony Stark, Original Character's POV, Original Character(s), Soft Bucky Barnes, TEAM CAP CAN AVOID THIS, bucky is a dork, meet Dave and his Uncle, they're the Co-Captains of U.S.S. WinterIron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 17:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21103094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterMunchkin05/pseuds/WinterMunchkin05
Summary: Hail Mary, full of graceOur Lord is…is…is…Oh God.What was the next line?Screw it, he’ll just beg for Saint Peter’s forgiveness (if he ever reached heaven) for not memorizing his prayers. With his unexpected (read: unwanted) visitor, that’ll be soon.





	Bucky's Mailroom Adventures

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnonEhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/gifts).

> This is for the lovely [AnonEhouse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse)  
for correctly guessing the chapter title of my other WinterIron story 'A Kiss and I will Surrender..
> 
> The prompt given:
> 
> fans are always sending Tony stuff and it piled up because the assigned minion in the mailroom was overwhelmed (Friday sent out thankyous signed with Tony facsimile, but a human had to decide which items were donated to various charities and which were kept). Wandering around, looking for something to do that would be useful but not matter much if he screwed up Bucky offers to lend a hand with the sorting. And winds up keeping a bunch of fluffy Minky throws/cuddlers/blankets with various Iron Man motifs because he still feels cold all the time. And sometimes, when Tony falls asleep somewhere other than his bed, Bucky sneaks up and covers him with one of them.
> 
> I think I went a lot crazier with this prompt and have deviated a lot *awkwardly scratches back of the neck*...uhmm, i hope you also don't mind the OCs..  
I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> I really loved writing this and soft Bucky is so much fun. Thank you!

_Hail Mary, full of grace_

_Our Lord is…is…is…_

_Oh God._

_What was the next line?_

Screw it, he’ll just beg for Saint Peter’s forgiveness (if he ever reached heaven) for not memorizing his prayers. With his unexpected (read: unwanted) visitor, that’ll be soon.

_Mom, Dad, I love you both so much even if you have never allowed me to have a pet (even a fucking beetle would’ve been okay)._

_Jake, you’re an ass, but you’re my best friend and I love you. I leave you my stamp collection, watch the edges, they are vintage. I’m also very sorry I told your crush Ally (or was it Mary?) that you have a major case of cooties to make her avoid you because I got jealous that you gave your jelly cup to her instead of me back in first grade._

_Uncle Danny, when you asked me to help you out with this mailroom gig for the Avengers, I should’ve realized that I needed to set up my insurance first—I mean, surely they cover death by supersoldier now, right?_

His eyes nearly fell out of his eye sockets as he dared to lock eyes with the large figure lurking at the door, staring at him impassively like a fucking Weeping Angel before they went in for the kill—only (he’d confess to Jake and die before he’d admit this; read: never) hell of a lot better looking.

Of all the people in the world, this guy was the last—nope, dude didn’t even make in his list—person he’d expect to see here in the mailing room.

From the Rogue Avengers that (unfortunately) came back here in the Compound (scot free at that, what was the government thinking?), it had to be the shiftiest motherfucker out of the lot (and that’s counting the Black Widow, mind you).

Seriously.

_What the fuck is the Winter Soldier doing here?_

* * *

Dave had been working part-time as a mailing clerk in the Avengers Compound for almost four years now because nobody told him art school was expensive as fuck (the materials alone kept his piggy bank from being fully nourished) and the pay was way more than what one would expect for such menial tasks like sorting letters and packages. He got the job because one: his Uncle Daniel was the postmaster (the only guy in the mailroom, really) and two: _Tony Stark_.

He was in his junior year of high school when he jumped at the chance to get inside the famous Avengers HQ because his uncle said he needed some help. Uncle Danny knew he was a huge fan of Iron Man and that he would always visit the Stark Tower to look at the lovingly crafted fanarts and banners that fans and grateful folks would leave outside the place. He especially loved the ones from the kids. He would take pictures for his blog and sometimes draw inspiration from them for his paintings or sculptures. So, when he finally got inside the Compound, even if he was only in the mailroom, it was the best day of his life—lots of fanarts, cards and even cute handmade stuff for the superheroes. It was then that he met Tony Stark himself.

Mr. Stark—Tony, as he liked to be called— according to Uncle Danny usually dropped by the mailroom to say hello or personally hand in some documents he needed to send to SI. Apparently, it was _empowering _to be able to tell Miss Potts that he had finished going over the documents and even personally handed them in to the mailroom to be sent. David knew the documents thing was just an excuse and Tony was just really being friendly—the man knew the all staff in the Compound by name (so damn cool) and would even ask about their families, would make one think that he wasn’t the one handing them paychecks. Tony dropped by the mailroom to hand in a huge stack of files and chat with his uncle. When he noticed David, he asked him about how school was and stuff, like the usual small talk. He didn’t really think about anything then, until Uncle Danny mentioned the fanart thing and that he wanted to get into art school but money was tight.

_“Really? So you’re a budding artist, huh?” the billionaire hummed, before snapping his fingers, “Since you like looking at all of these too, how’d you like helping Uncle Danny with them?”_

_“What?”_

_“We can set up the fee for you too. It’ll help with the art school fees and the supplies. Tesla knows, quality paintbrushes are criminally expensive even if they were really just glorified, pointier make up brushes.” Tony gleefully added, rubbing his hands with a sort of manic glint in his eyes that kinda scared the crap out of David._

The rest, as they say, was history.

Although, David had suspected that Tony actually pulled some strings to get him into Rhode Island School of Design because he had mentioned back then that it was his target school. It was also proven by the fact that he was named a grant recipient of the September Foundation (weird, considering the grant was created for _STEM_ majors). He was just afraid he’d embarrass Tony and himself if he asked, thus he kept quiet but would always happily chat with the man when he dropped by.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the assassin in front of him rasped monotonously,

“I’m bored. I heard that doing tasks that you don’t usually do and don’t really require a lot of concentration would keep you from being restless.”

Jesus, fuck. Did he actually ask the question out loud?

“Uhh…er...so, sorting letters and packages, then?”

Which only gave him a miss-if-you-blink shift in the assassin’s dull expression that was somehow enough to hit him upside the head with how daft he was being.

He was doomed. He was going to die. _Damnit._

He’d seen a bit of how this motherfucker fought online. He saw some of the shit that went down in DC years ago. This fucker kicked Captain Jerkwad’s ass in hand-to-hand combat without much effort and nearly carved his own best friend’s face off (David truly wished he did) when he pulled that knife out mid-fight, had shot Black Widow through a car’s window and even (from what David heard) shredded Falcon’s wings like paper. Add in that one video from the time the guy got caught by the Joint Counter Terrorist Center, the one where he (reportedly) went psycho and escaped. He fought Iron Man, Black Widow, JCTC agents and Black Panther _all at the same time _and they all didn’t stand a chance_. _Granted, Tony didn’t have an armor at the time, but still. All of those things happened with this guy looking like he’d run all them through with his metal arm and he would just stare at them with that eerie, vacant expression as they slowly bleed out and the light left their eyes.

Needless to say, that David would not be ashamed to say that he’d dive into the nearest dumpster at the sight of this dude. Which was obviously not going to happen right now, seeing as the dude was blocking the only door here and he was about to be murdered.

“Do you have anything I can do here?” the soldier asked in that same miserable tone, eyes moving from one box of fanmail to the next.

“Well, uh…Winter Soldier, I—“

He barely managed to stifle a squeak when those dull eyes suddenly slid to him.

“Bucky. My name is Bucky Barnes.”

Shit. Of course, he just had to offend the brainwashed assassin.

The fucker—_Bucky—_took in his silent nod as an invitation to step inside and move toward one of the tables laden with packages and started looking through them.

“What do I do with these?” the man asked again, this time with a note of curiosity, as he held a stack of letters in his hand.

So, he’s not actually going to die? David breathed a sigh of relief and mentally thanked the folks upstairs before tentatively moving closer to the table beside the one where the man was—making sure there was a wide space between them.

“Uh, well…Sergeant Barnes, uhmm…”he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He had a job to do. He won’t let his uncle and Tony down, “Okay. F-first, you sort the letters depending on who would be the recipient. See the boxes in front of you?” he pointed and the man nodded, “Those are for letters and packages sent by Avenger fans. They already have names, just place the appropriate letter there—tip, keep an eye out for the ones written or made by kids. Those are considered priority, make sure to stack them together first and bundle them using rubber bands before placing them in the box to separate them from the other letters. If it looks like a document or something equally important just hand them over to me, I’ll have them recorded so FRIDAY can notify the office that will receive them. As for the packages, same procedures but you have to open them for safety precautions and you also have more leeway on what to keep because you may have an idea on what the rest of the Avengers would like to have, the rest will be sent to the Maria Stark Foundation and Stark Relief Foundation.”

Sergeant Barnes set out to do as was instructed when an afterthought occurred to David, “Oh, by the way…if the packages or letters are for Mr. Stark, Colonel Rhodes and Spider-man, please have them scanned by FRIDAY first and inform her of the sender, so she can send the usual thank you’s and their facsimiles. Again if it’s from kids, tell FRIDAY that too…those three likes to send more personal stuff back to them. If it’s stuff toys and the likes, they end up to the Foundations.”

If Sergeant Barnes noticed that FRIDAY had no specific protocols for the Rogues’ packages and letters (if they still had any, it’s mostly the aforementioned three who receive things these days and funny enough, this guy too.) he made no mention of it, instead he asked:

“I can keep anything I like?”

Sergeant Barnes had his eyes on the content of the package he had already opened, his flesh thumb running over it repeatedly. It seemed to be a red blanket of some sort.

“Uhmm…yeah, I mean…they’re sent to you guys after all.” He explained before going back to sorting his own pile.

“I see.”

* * *

They’d been quietly doing their task for an hour with the quiet not-quite broken by notifications to and from FRIDAY when David noticed something as he rummaged through the table’s drawer for more rubber bands.

There at the soldier’s feet, away from David, was a box (with ‘Bucky’ written on it) filled with red and some, bright or metallic yellow soft looking things. He turned to Sergeant Barnes and nearly did a double take when he saw that the man was currently looking (very intensely) at a plush Iron Man tsum tsum the size of a main coon. Sergeant Barnes must be wondering what tsum tsums were, or so he thought when the man gave the toy another squeeze before surreptitiously (would have been if David wasn’t looking and Sergeant Barnes wasn’t distracted) letting it fall into the box at his feet. He kept discretely observing and noted that the man would also include other stuff in different color to his loot if, and only if they were made of soft materials.

Wait a minute, he backtracked.

_Red and metallic yellow? No, gold…_

_Red and gold…_

_Iron Man colors…_

David nearly choked on air and stapled his own hand when he finally got it.

The Winter Soldier was collecting fucking Iron Man merch!

Mr. Badass Motherfucker was actually an Iron Man fanboy!

Mr. Bucky ‘I am the fucking Winter Soldier’ Barnes was an Iron Man fanboy and apparently liked soft, fluffy things!

Soft, fluffy things, the younger man pondered.

_Huh._

_No wonder Sergeant Barnes likes Iron Man then._

Because irony of all ironies, Iron Man was the softest man (with really nice fluffy hair) in the world.

David was so going to tell Jake and his uncle about this. He also felt himself relax and shake off a large chunk of him that was utterly terrified of the man. C’mon, if this dude liked Tony ‘Softest Man Alive’ Stark, then he wouldn’t actually hurt David unless David thought it smart to attack him—like with a paper clip or something.

* * *

The two of them finished their task much faster than David had expected, it only took them a little over two hours to finish everything instead of the usual four if it was just David or three, with Uncle Danny. It seemed that the Winter Soldier would make a good mail clerk too. He had mentioned as much and the older man gave him a tiny shrug and said, “Used to be one, if I remember correctly, before the War.”

David winced.

Okay, that was a douche thing to say.

“I’m sorry, Sergeant Barnes…I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Sergeant Barnes only shook his head, “’m not, you were paying me a compliment if anything. It’s fine, kid.” he then quickly covered and lifted _his_ box.

_Dude, there was no point in covering it if I’ve already seen it._

Uncle Danny showed up then after finishing his rounds delivering the mail to each Avenger and offices.

“Ah, what a surprise! Hello, Sergeant Barnes. What brings you here?” Uncle Danny chirped as he sat down, raising an eyebrow at the box in the tall man’s hands.

“Just helpin’ out. Got nothin’ to do.” The soldier mumbled, clutching his box tighter as though afraid the postmaster would take it away.

David wanted to roll his eyes at the reply.

Got nothing to do, his foot_._

_You scared the shit outta me so you can steal Iron Man merch to add to your collection!_

“That’s nice of you to help my nephew David. Thank you.” With the way, his uncle was grinning at Sergeant Barnes he could tell the two had talked before and his uncle knew something about the man. 

The man gave them another shrug, “It’s fine. I’ll see you guys later.” He threw as he walked to the door like he couldn't wait to get out of the mailroom, only stopping when Uncle Danny called him.

“Sergeant Barnes, you forgot something.” The older man came closer to the soldier and patted the metal arm that was clutching the box before he sat back down on his rolling chair with a shit eating grin on his face.

Sergeant Barnes’ brows furrowed before looking down on his arm and honest to God made a strangled sound in his throat.

"The fuck, old man?!"

There on his forearm was a large and _glittery_ Iron Man sticker.

David and his uncle only laughed when the fearsome Winter Soldier went red to the tips of his ears and used his other arm to cover the sticker but obviously made no move to remove the ‘offending’ object stuck to him.

* * *

With Uncle Danny’s encouragement, Bucky—as he insisted they call him (oh boy, he and Tony were definitely made for each other)—became a fixture in the mailroom after that first time. He would drop by twice or thrice a week (if not on missions), when he was done with training or whenever FRIDAY shot him messages like ‘You have mail, _deer _Sergeant Barnes.’ or ‘Better _prance _to the mailroom, Sergeant Buck.’ that he would pretend to bitch about to David and Uncle Danny much to their (and FRIDAY’s) amusement. They also found out that despite the moniker, Bucky didn't really like the cold and the comfortably warm temperature the mailroom was kept in (due to Uncle Danny's poor knee) was ideal for him. The guy was frozen alive on and off for seventy years, they couldn't really blame him nor did they begrudge him the sanctuary he found in their work space.

One of the fucking funniest things they’d witnessed during one of Bucky's visits (before it went sideways) was when Bucky froze (pun not intended) and panicked at the sight of an obviously just-out-of-the-lab Tony when he answered the door and tried to hide it from the engineer by looking like he’d beat him up right there and then.

“Whoa! Wait, wha--Barnes, what are you doing here?” Tony asked clearly startled with being face to--well, neck with the quiet soldier, tilting his head in confusion that made some strands of his hair fall over his forehead.

Bucky only stared at the man like the weirdo he was and Tony awkwardly shifted his weight on his left leg, "Okay..." he pouted, eyes falling on anything but the man in front of him.

Uncle Danny nudged a quietly sniggering David with his elbow and quirked an eyebrow at Bucky’s fingers twitching at the sight. That almost made them both burst into laughter, Bucky obviously wanted to run his thumb over that pout.

The damn sap.

Bucky (the dumbass) then replied sharply, “What the hell does one do in a mailroom, Stark?”

Tony slightly flinched at that, before slapping on a smile, “R-right. Of course, silly me. Uhm, excuse me.” He then moved around the idiot to pass the file folders in his hand to Uncle Danny, which made both uncle and nephew deflate.

_What the hell, Barnes?! Weren't you like a 40's Casanova or something before the assassin shit show? You said you remember most of your past now!_

Shaking his head, David decided to intervene.

“Hey, Tony.” David smiled at the engineer, then conspiratorially winked at the dumb soldier still standing at the door, “Bucky’s been helping us out with the sorting and some heavy lifting.Which is really amazing, we're lucky he decided to help out since Uncle's back has been giving him problems lately. By the way, did you know Bucky used to be a mail clerk too? Before the War?”

“Oh? That’s good. Nice of you, Barnes.” Tony answered distractedly, not looking at Bucky, “I actually didn’t know that, Dave…that’s great, part of history and all.”

“Would you like to stay for some sandwich, Tony?” Uncle Danny offered, before giving Bucky a pointed look.

_You better apologize, you idiot._

Tony bit his lip for a bit and his eyes flicked toward Bucky for a second, “I’d love to...but, I have some more things to finish in the lab. Thank you, though.” He then quickly went out but not before mumbling, “See you around, Barnes.”

When the door closed behind Tony, David and his uncle didn’t know if they should be annoyed with Bucky for not catching up and apologizing to Tony or search for more Iron Man merchandise because he looked like was on the verge of crying.

“Uh…Bucky?” Uncle Danny called, gently like coaxing a frightened animal.

“I-I didn’t mean to…” the soldier moped before sitting in the corner.

"C'mon, Bucky..it's okay, you'll get your chance to talk him properly." David added.

Bucky only shook his head then he pulled at his box and grabbed yet another large Iron Man plushie, letting his face sink into it with a groan," I can barely talk to him whenever there are people around, how the hell am I supposed to do that alone? During maintenance for my arm, I feel so nervous and awkward I would just stare at one point in the lab and pray that I don't throw up."

"No one's expecting you to, son." 

Both Bucky and David looked at Uncle Danny who was grinning at the soldier, "You are the Winter Soldier, Bucky. Captain America may be a legend--but the Winter Soldier was a _myth._ The Winter Soldier is not exactly expected to be seen nor heard. He's a presence, you can't lay eyes on him, you can't hear him...but, you know he's there. Tony doesn't need a grand gesture like those morons with the boombox from David's movies, he only needs to know you're there for him."

Uncle Danny then chucked another plush at Bucky-- it was a [pillow](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0847/7912/products/winter_soldier_470x.png?v=1500100202) made in the Winter Soldier's image.

Bucky looked from the pillow to the (physically) older man, eyes filling up with hope "Thank you."

"Is no one really going to mention how he had insulted one of my favorite movies?" David groused and the men only laughed.

* * *

One of the best things about being a mail clerk in the Avengers Compound was that they had access, albeit limited, to all the places in the Compound except the bedrooms and the labs. The only catch was that they were not allowed to stay for longer than necessary for them to have the mail received. That was how David, during one of his own rounds found Bucky inside the lab, carefully placing the Winter Soldier pillow under Tony’s head. Bucky, noticing he had an observer, quickly (and still careful) moved away from the billionaire, relaxing when he saw it was only David outside the lab’s reinforced glass (?) walls.

Bucky looked up at the ceiling, seemingly having a conversation with FRIDAY before going out of the lab to meet David.

“What are you doing here, kid?”

“What am I doing? My job, of course! I need to deliver these to Mr. Stark, it’s his batch of the priority letters.” Then with a smug look, he asked the older man, “What about you, Bucky? What brings _you_ here?”

As expected, the man only scowled, “You damn well know, punk. Stop being so annoying.” the effect, however, was negated by the blush that crept up his neck.

David grinned and handed the letters to Bucky, “Here, you give these to him too.”

“What? Why?” Bucky blinked at him and suddenly FRIDAY butted in,

“Oh _deer_, good thing I am so fawn of you, Sergeant Buck. Aside from the Boss, the Colonel, Miss Potts, Spider-man and Harley—you are the only one who can enter the Boss’ workshop.”

David snorted at the barrage of awful puns, there really was no question who her father was. Bucky must have thought the same because he only rolled his eyes fondly at the ceiling and gave a feigned reluctant acquiesce,

“Yes, sweet girl. Whatever you say.”

“Good. Now, buckle up and stagger back inside and place them on the table before the Boss wakes up.”

Bucky only chuckled, “So bossy.” and went back inside the lab.

* * *

The following weeks filled David and Uncle Danny with amusement as Tony would confusedly rant about the different things he’d find himself on, wrapped in, on him or placed beside him when he woke up from his naps whether in the lab or outside of it. It also made the Colonel Rhodes and Spider-man snort with laughter, apparently they had an idea what was going on but found it funny not to tell Tony. The rest of the Rogues just found it annoying and rolled their eyes whenever Tony would freak out about being placed somewhere or given something comfier (except Rogers, who looked like he would rather swallow a boulder than hear Tony talk about his ‘new ninja friend’).

There was also this new awareness that Bucky and Tony had for each other after Bucky apologized for snapping at Tony in the mailroom. Bucky’s visits to the lab had increased—the dummy would apparently come up with ways on how to fuck up his metal arm without actually hurting himself (like _accidentally_ slipping a tiny piece of lego between the plates) or just to play with the bots—and he was now able to converse with the engineer. Whereas Tony, (who obviously knew the shit Bucky was up to with his arm) just indulged the man and fixed it for him. Tony would also drop by the mailroom more than usual just to chat with the three of them—even dubbing them the ‘True Mail Masters: Lords of the Fanmails and Surveyor of the Fanarts’ (David was pretty sure there was a dig at a faulty mail app in there somewhere) and to see Bucky, evidenced by his significantly smaller stack of documents to hand in like he was working on them in batches so he'd have an excuse to visit repeatedly.

“It’s so weird! The first time, I had a pillow under my head that looks like Barnes! _Barnes_, for Thor’s sake! Jesus, I woke up making out with that pillow—ugh, no, that sounds creepy, forget that I said anything at all. Then next, I woke up on a giant ass red [beanbag](https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/EHj-VQB1iUsyKyOORJCNhPMoQXM/fit-in/728xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2018/08/27/764/n/24155406/5af8915e5b8432f8946d14.77965306_/i/ChillSack-Beanbag-Amazon.jpg) in the lab! How the hell did someone even manage to sneak that in there without alerting FRIDAY? Two days later, when I woke up in the common room and I was burrito wrapped in this really soft Hulk green blanket with a double tuft beanie in War Machine colors on my head—the letters and some cookies on the coffee table! Am I being haunted or something? Should I call Strange? Because it keeps getting weirder, you know! Earlier, I woke up on that bean bag again in the lab and there was an honest to Thor_, Stark_ fur cloak wrapped around my shoulders and a Ghost direwolf [stuffed toy](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/af/d0/68/afd06845bf984edae8e37db999aeea91.jpg) in my arms! If I ever find out who this fucker is, I’ll tell them that I am not really _that kind_ of Stark! They also think I don't eat enough that they would always leave me some food to eat with a note saying I should eat more but, I can’t tell who they were based on handwriting because fucker was smart enough to have the notes typed! And it’s freaking me out because whenever I asked FRIDAY for footage, there were obvious cuts to the videos, but she would tell me she had no clue—Hell, I even ran multiple scans and sweeps into her code to check for bugs or faulty code and found none! It's like she's trying to protect this guy or something! There were also times that footage would show that this person obviously knew how to move around to avoid the cameras because, they don’t show up in the frame but you can totally see things getting arranged by someone off-cam! Like a fucking ghost or—“

Tony stopped mid-sentence and his brows furrowed just as Bucky entered the mailroom. Both men looked as though they were not expecting to see each other in there judging by the way they looked at each other like they were faced with a dragon or the Night King. The soldier was carrying that large Iron Man blanket he would bring whenever he would take his own nap in the mailroom and a copy of A Game of Thrones paperback.

Tony’s eyes dropped to Bucky’s hands and blinked before tilting his head a bit, putting the pieces together already, “Well, this is awkward.”

Uncle Danny cleared his throat and stood from his own chair, “David, I think we should head to the cafeteria—I heard they’re serving that Jambalaya you like today.”

David nearly tripped on his own chair, “Yeah…sure, let’s go.”

“Tony, Bucky, we’ll see you guys later.” Uncle Danny told them before closing the door.

“You think those two will be alright, Uncle?” David asked when they reached the cafeteria—aware of Bucky’s enhanced hearing.

“They’ll be fine you’ll see. Those two had been dancing around each other for months. And I’ve just had enough of Bucky moping around about how Tony doesn’t want him.” The older man chuckled, “The dumb boy had never looked at himself in a mirror or even looked at Tony close enough to know that Tony wouldn’t mind being locked up with him in a room all night long. Tony looks at him the same way my wife would look at me, you know. Just simmering under the surface but clearly hot and ready to—“

“I think I get it, Uncle. No need to go into details about _simmering _and shit, I want to eat my Jambalaya in peace.” he groaned much to the older man's delight.

Went well it all did, because when they got back Tony was sitting in Bucky’s lap and they were wrapped in the Iron Man blanket like a burrito, asleep. Their mouths swollen and hair sticking in every direction…huh, they could just tease those two about that later when they wake up.

* * *

6 MONTHS LATER…

David just finished his rounds of delivering mail and was on his way back to the mailroom as he pondered about the last few months. He was also covering Uncle Danny’s rounds now since the poor man was down with the flu.

He started with dreading the presence of the Rogues in the Compound because of what Tony and the others went through when they all decided to say ‘Fuck the world, we’re on our own’ and being terrified of even the mere thought of the Winter Soldier. He also remembered that epic throw down that happened when Rogers tried to stop Bucky from being with Tony because of some bullshit excuse about how Tony was just going to break Bucky’s heart. The moron was too much of a coward to admit that he actually wanted Tony for himself that Bucky (the man showed David again why he was so terrified of him before) called him out on his bullshit and thrashed Rogers so bad, they said it was worse than what he did to his ‘friend’ back in DC.

Now, after half a year, he was more than confident that he would throw up with the way Tony and Bucky were all over each other every time and everywhere…hugs, cuddling under the Iron Man blanket, kisses (even Eskimo ones, the fuck), dopey smiles, Tony showering Bucky with shit tons of fluffy soft things (scarves, stuff toys, even more blankets etc.)—if he didn’t understand. After all, he too, was like that with Jake. He finally managed to man up three months ago and confess while Jake just laughed before telling him,

_“Oh, thank fuck. I was this close to considering to go Lloyd Dobler and do that boom box outside your window shit that you love.”_

_“It’s not that bad! Why does everyone keep saying that?!”_

However, no matter how cute Tony and Bucky were being… David still wanted to claw his own eyes out and pour bleach in the empty sockets whenever he remembered the time he accidentally walked in on those two doing it on the giant beanbag in the lab. The idiots that they were, they were too _preoccupied_ with each other that they forgot to ask FRIDAY for a blackout. He shuddered at the thought.

Let’s just say, it never occurred to him that Tony was _that _ flexible considering he’s in his late forties.

He turned the doorknob of the mailroom door and noticed that it was locked. That was strange, it wasn’t locked when he left for his rounds and the key was inside the room.

Unless…

He placed his ear against the door and his suspicions were confirmed when he heard loud thud and a muffled groan of ‘Oh, yes..right there, Buck’ followed by a shriek.

Sons of a bitch!

David banged (ugh) his fist against the door, “What the fuck, Barnes?! You have your rooms, you fuckers!”

The only reply he received was another loud thud of someone (probably Tony) being pushed hard against the door and a growl of “Go away, kid!” before the door began harshly rattling again and again.

_Jesus Christ._

David only closed his eyes in defeat before walking away, he’d have to sanitize every nook and cranny of the mailroom later (like, fifty times).

He was so going to tell Jake how much an ass his two friends were.


End file.
